I left my kiva last October to work down in Albuquerque selling Xerox equipment. It is about the money at this point. How else can I buy land myself, and live out the rest of my life off the grid in New Mexico?
Yes, I left the land and the sky and the emptiness that I love. Seattle is my home now, at least for a time.
Now are the memories and the dreams that I remember...
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday, October 9, 2009
A WALK IN THE WILDERNESS
The land here is exquisite. In spite of the last month of stress and indecision, I am glad I am here living almost off the grid. It is hard sometimes. It takes time to haul the water needed for washing dishes, the solar shower, and other needs. It also takes planning, so everything is done before dark: the visits to the outhouse, the solar shower before the water grows cold, and I must admit I am a little timid to be roaming around in the dark on this land so far from civilization.
Work has been hard to find with a lot of bumps and curves and disappointments. I start a new job on Tuesday, and it is a good one where I can apply myself and make enough money to supply my needs for growing old. I am still working on my three books that I will submit to the agent in New York City I want to represent me. And, then, it is waiting for the right agent, the right offer.
Until then, I will be distracted by working. However, if you consider it is to build my future how exciting is that?
Alone in the dark,
Lia
Work has been hard to find with a lot of bumps and curves and disappointments. I start a new job on Tuesday, and it is a good one where I can apply myself and make enough money to supply my needs for growing old. I am still working on my three books that I will submit to the agent in New York City I want to represent me. And, then, it is waiting for the right agent, the right offer.
Until then, I will be distracted by working. However, if you consider it is to build my future how exciting is that?
Alone in the dark,
Lia
Sunday, September 27, 2009
EXTREME BEAUTY
How can you not be moved by the beauty in northern New Mexico? As I drive through the hills and see the mountains covered with snow, emotion wells up in me threatening to overflow. The light here does amazing things. One night as the sun set to the West, three vertical rainbows shot down to strike the earth in Santa Fe.
It is almost too beautiful to paint, or to photograph. There is a rawness to it. It strikes to the bone, to the marrow and reveals all.
Lia
It is almost too beautiful to paint, or to photograph. There is a rawness to it. It strikes to the bone, to the marrow and reveals all.
Lia
Saturday, September 19, 2009
OUT OF SIGHT NOT OUT OF MIND
Well, readers, for those that are following this blog - You have noticed my absence this week. It has been a crazy, mixed-up, soul-shaking week. It has entirely dumped my routine and good intentions, so that I have to finally acknowledge who I am and where I should be going.
I did change my photo, however, so you could see that I was trying to flow through that narrow opening to the sky and collective consciousness. I am so stubborn! However, I am thinking and thinking about my life and it is starting to make sense.
My writing is progressing on my memoir and one of my novels. It is hard to examine your life, your mistakes, your feelings. It brings back a lot of pain. so far, it has not brought me joy.
Tied to Earth,
Lia
I did change my photo, however, so you could see that I was trying to flow through that narrow opening to the sky and collective consciousness. I am so stubborn! However, I am thinking and thinking about my life and it is starting to make sense.
My writing is progressing on my memoir and one of my novels. It is hard to examine your life, your mistakes, your feelings. It brings back a lot of pain. so far, it has not brought me joy.
Tied to Earth,
Lia
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
SEXUALITY DEAD IN AMERICA
The land is sexual. It is natural and contains death, life, beauty, God and sex. When you are on the land this is evident. For more than 40 years, Americans have gone back to their Puritanical roots that denies creativity. In every society, at least a small part of the population must be the "bad boys" and "bad girls" for a society not to be too uptight and as a result judgemental instead of allowing any to become writer, artists or musicians.
Let me underline that and make something perfectly clear in the beginning. When a society ignores the reality of death and sex, there cannot be true creativity. After the “sexual revolution” of the sixties, American society zipped up their pants and the hemline fell. It became in vogue to talk about sex, watch the machinations of it on the screen but sexuality became dulled and dead. Women had their affairs but colored it in new age terminology about finding themselves. Men became weak, period. Never have there been so many failed erections in this country or dry vaginas.
Fashion shows anemic thin girls with big breasts. Women followed fashion and now they have Barbie doll bodies but don’t know how to use them. I have never seen so many dried-up women in my life – especially women just younger than myself. They are medicated, whiney, and spend money like water.
The men are afraid of their wives, and their children; afraid to fail and not be considered “good.” They were attacked on both ends: by coming of new age psychologists and their girlfriends and wives. They read books on intimacy, and then are rejected as not knowing how to be intimate. They are too confused to be angry.
There is no freedom. Men and women and children don't know where to turn. There is no leadership, indeed no balance as nature intended. Feminists became unbalanced and bitter, not allowing men to be themselves. They turned their attention to keeping the man, so they punish them.
Men are different. Women cannot feel safe unless they require men to be like women. This is what we have now: emasculated men, who need to go back to nature and take ownership back for themselves. And, women? You need to go back and be proper feminists and find the mystery and earth mother wonder of sex so that a sexual union goes natural again.
Even post-sixties flower children need to lay down their blackberry's and go on the hunt again! Erica Jong in her character Isadora Wing got it right...
So hate me,
Lia
Let me underline that and make something perfectly clear in the beginning. When a society ignores the reality of death and sex, there cannot be true creativity. After the “sexual revolution” of the sixties, American society zipped up their pants and the hemline fell. It became in vogue to talk about sex, watch the machinations of it on the screen but sexuality became dulled and dead. Women had their affairs but colored it in new age terminology about finding themselves. Men became weak, period. Never have there been so many failed erections in this country or dry vaginas.
Fashion shows anemic thin girls with big breasts. Women followed fashion and now they have Barbie doll bodies but don’t know how to use them. I have never seen so many dried-up women in my life – especially women just younger than myself. They are medicated, whiney, and spend money like water.
The men are afraid of their wives, and their children; afraid to fail and not be considered “good.” They were attacked on both ends: by coming of new age psychologists and their girlfriends and wives. They read books on intimacy, and then are rejected as not knowing how to be intimate. They are too confused to be angry.
There is no freedom. Men and women and children don't know where to turn. There is no leadership, indeed no balance as nature intended. Feminists became unbalanced and bitter, not allowing men to be themselves. They turned their attention to keeping the man, so they punish them.
Men are different. Women cannot feel safe unless they require men to be like women. This is what we have now: emasculated men, who need to go back to nature and take ownership back for themselves. And, women? You need to go back and be proper feminists and find the mystery and earth mother wonder of sex so that a sexual union goes natural again.
Even post-sixties flower children need to lay down their blackberry's and go on the hunt again! Erica Jong in her character Isadora Wing got it right...
So hate me,
Lia
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
SIGNIFIGANCE OF WILD WOLVES SIGHTING
O readers, as promised, the story of the three sightings of two wild grey wolves on Wilderness Gate Road in Santa Fe. On first sighting, I was traveling in my Explorer and they ambled across the dirt road. It was almost dark, and I wasn't sure about wolves in this part of the country. What I did know was they were dying out in many countries.
I mentioned it to a friend. He said, "No way did you see a wolf. Are you out of your mind!" So, I put it out of my mind. Three weeks later, I was coming back up the mountain on the same road from my two mile run. It was dusk. A car stopped going downhill and it was someone I knew, so we were chatting when all of a sudden she pointed and said, "Look at the two coyotes crossing the road!" They were two dark shapes going across, and I didn't have on my glasses, so I took her word for it. On my way home, it was quite dark and I was a little nervous. Look, I am pretty fearless. One year, while camping alone in a little, little tent up on Ft. Davis in Texas a mountain lion stuck his nose through my tent and made all kinds of gnashing teeth noises! All I can say is I didn't want my neck ripped out running at night.
The last time I saw them was less than two weeks ago. I was packing, getting ready to leave Wilderness Gate Road, and decided to take a run. On the way back it was getting quite dark, but was lighter than the last time I decided to take an evening run. I was halfway back when RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME two beautiful - though bony - wild grey wolves crossed the road, stopping to look at me. It was stunning. I had my cell phone and phoned said friend again. He had spent 11 years in Alaska, and I wanted his advice. "I am alone. It's dark, and there is no one around." He said not to run (so they don't think you are prey) just walk as if I had purpose. Down the road, there was a dirt lane and they were there watching me walk past. It was thrilling, quite an honor to see these wild animals, but still a little frightening.
Others will scoff at me, and say I was never in any danger, etc. However, here and there there has been attacks made on humans that proved to be fatal. You are in their territory. A week before this happened a couple were attacked and pretty much eaten in Georgia by a pack of wild domestic dogs. So, it can happen.
There are few cases where people see wolves in the wild. They don't like to come out, unless they have had contact with humans in the past. From my research, wolves in Mexico have been released that used to be in parks, etc. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't.
So, the signifigance? A psychologist friend of mine said seeing wolves three times should make me take note of my surroundings and what I do with my life: to witness life instinctively. What do you think?
Lia
I mentioned it to a friend. He said, "No way did you see a wolf. Are you out of your mind!" So, I put it out of my mind. Three weeks later, I was coming back up the mountain on the same road from my two mile run. It was dusk. A car stopped going downhill and it was someone I knew, so we were chatting when all of a sudden she pointed and said, "Look at the two coyotes crossing the road!" They were two dark shapes going across, and I didn't have on my glasses, so I took her word for it. On my way home, it was quite dark and I was a little nervous. Look, I am pretty fearless. One year, while camping alone in a little, little tent up on Ft. Davis in Texas a mountain lion stuck his nose through my tent and made all kinds of gnashing teeth noises! All I can say is I didn't want my neck ripped out running at night.
The last time I saw them was less than two weeks ago. I was packing, getting ready to leave Wilderness Gate Road, and decided to take a run. On the way back it was getting quite dark, but was lighter than the last time I decided to take an evening run. I was halfway back when RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME two beautiful - though bony - wild grey wolves crossed the road, stopping to look at me. It was stunning. I had my cell phone and phoned said friend again. He had spent 11 years in Alaska, and I wanted his advice. "I am alone. It's dark, and there is no one around." He said not to run (so they don't think you are prey) just walk as if I had purpose. Down the road, there was a dirt lane and they were there watching me walk past. It was thrilling, quite an honor to see these wild animals, but still a little frightening.
Others will scoff at me, and say I was never in any danger, etc. However, here and there there has been attacks made on humans that proved to be fatal. You are in their territory. A week before this happened a couple were attacked and pretty much eaten in Georgia by a pack of wild domestic dogs. So, it can happen.
There are few cases where people see wolves in the wild. They don't like to come out, unless they have had contact with humans in the past. From my research, wolves in Mexico have been released that used to be in parks, etc. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't.
So, the signifigance? A psychologist friend of mine said seeing wolves three times should make me take note of my surroundings and what I do with my life: to witness life instinctively. What do you think?
Lia
Monday, September 7, 2009
LABOR DAY HOT, HOT, HOT
It has been a long long weekend in a way though I can say it has almost been a week since I have moved into my kiva on the high desert. It is amazing how beautiful it is here with critters running all over the place and big birds chasing them. When you live in a small place of windows open to the world outside, you are more aware of nature. There are people I know, who live in amazing places and never know what the weather is outside.
For the past five days, I have unpacked and arranged my little dwelling so that after three days I was able to work on my writing. Depending on my mood, it was my memoir or my literary novel. It is finished, but I am polishing it for sending off to a new agent. And, of course dear readers are you out there? I started my first blog ever. Of course, I have one faithful follower, who has commented on every blog so far.
Maggio, sorry you didn't like the "hippie chick" block, but we are not all as hip as you are to these things. You did like the snake story, I noticed.
Well, I did a little handwashing of undies, and I am almost out of water. It is time to go visit that well and to ride into town. I can see that I need to buy gallons more every week just in case. My hands burn from the soap I have used this week in cleaning and making an effort to wash my hands more now that I am out using the outhouse.
I promise, tomorrow, I will tell you my wild wolf pair story.
Later, Lia
For the past five days, I have unpacked and arranged my little dwelling so that after three days I was able to work on my writing. Depending on my mood, it was my memoir or my literary novel. It is finished, but I am polishing it for sending off to a new agent. And, of course dear readers are you out there? I started my first blog ever. Of course, I have one faithful follower, who has commented on every blog so far.
Maggio, sorry you didn't like the "hippie chick" block, but we are not all as hip as you are to these things. You did like the snake story, I noticed.
Well, I did a little handwashing of undies, and I am almost out of water. It is time to go visit that well and to ride into town. I can see that I need to buy gallons more every week just in case. My hands burn from the soap I have used this week in cleaning and making an effort to wash my hands more now that I am out using the outhouse.
I promise, tomorrow, I will tell you my wild wolf pair story.
Later, Lia
SAME, BUT DIFFERENT THAN COMMUNE
In the Sixties, I lived on a commune for a period of time. Students from UCSC in Santa Cruz were in between their B.A. and Masters degrees, life, teaching, or going to Russia. All men had missed the draft because they were in school and were from upper middle class families. They were spoiled in other words. The women there were few. Steve's wife and two children. And a couple of girlfriends, who were never there, and myself. Living off the grid with these guys showed that not all people are leaders, or know how to survive. They sat and whined, or sat and smoke grass, dropped acid and waited for something to happen.
There was an old barn on the property, which we dismantled to build our little shelters. The sides were about a foot high and we built four supports and a roof. The earthen floor we lined in plastic and through our sleeping bags down on it. We were not building for permanance, obviously. At the time, I was hitch-hiking back and forth between Oakland (California College of Arts & Crafts student) and the commune in Riddle, Oregon.
After a time, the brown rice and tamari sauce was getting old. Let's start a vegetable garden. Yeah. Sure. Do it. So I did. Later, I solved the infrequency of protein in our diets. (Well, not quite. We were in the habit of going out on the freeway and ordering burgers at A & W). One morning, I thought my alarm was going off (yeah, the only one who figured out a wind-up alarm clock would work out here. What a hippie I turned out to be!), and woke up looking for the switch when I saw my cat, Lucy, poised to attack a rattlesnake shaking its rattles and coiled. That was the alarm! I hopped up and grabbed a shovel without thinking and killed that snake before coming to my senses. Saved the cat, and since it was August (and dog days - rattlesnakes busy shedding their skins), we had plenty of snake meat and more headbands then we would ever need.
Anyway, maybe I am perfect for this experiment...
Lia
There was an old barn on the property, which we dismantled to build our little shelters. The sides were about a foot high and we built four supports and a roof. The earthen floor we lined in plastic and through our sleeping bags down on it. We were not building for permanance, obviously. At the time, I was hitch-hiking back and forth between Oakland (California College of Arts & Crafts student) and the commune in Riddle, Oregon.
After a time, the brown rice and tamari sauce was getting old. Let's start a vegetable garden. Yeah. Sure. Do it. So I did. Later, I solved the infrequency of protein in our diets. (Well, not quite. We were in the habit of going out on the freeway and ordering burgers at A & W). One morning, I thought my alarm was going off (yeah, the only one who figured out a wind-up alarm clock would work out here. What a hippie I turned out to be!), and woke up looking for the switch when I saw my cat, Lucy, poised to attack a rattlesnake shaking its rattles and coiled. That was the alarm! I hopped up and grabbed a shovel without thinking and killed that snake before coming to my senses. Saved the cat, and since it was August (and dog days - rattlesnakes busy shedding their skins), we had plenty of snake meat and more headbands then we would ever need.
Anyway, maybe I am perfect for this experiment...
Lia
Sunday, September 6, 2009
TRADITION IS DISABLING
New Mexico - not California as many believe - have set the trend of alternative habitats. We have invented the Earthship, which is completely off the grid and sustaining. There are others in the state, who came to live a lifestyle where they were not enslaved to big mortgages. They wanted to buy land outright and then build their house as they went. What they found was freedom to a system that needs you to pay and pay, and die in debt.
Perhaps the Indian population, who had been living off the grid for generations, had inspired us. They lived next to the earth not through design, but were borne to it. A majority turned to the arts they made for their daily living - baskets to hold food, pottery to hold water and to cook in, jewelry to adorn themselves and other representational and nonrepresentational art to beautify their homes. They baked their breads in kivas outside their home.
It is not easy to live without the modern conveniences we all have grown accustomed to having. What with advertising and marketing, we need a dishwasher to liberate ourselves, as well as the finest in homes and clothes, toys and cars. Are we liberated in this electronic age? Or, are we sitting in front of televisions dulling our minds during the week, and turning to malls, movies and other devices to entertain us on the weekends. The big homes we are in debt to we live as much as we can. Do we stay home and read, paint, study a language or have money and time to travel and experience different cultures?
These are some of the reasons I am here: to wean myself of modern addictions, and to prepare to become self-sufficient and enjoy the rest of my life.
Later, Lia
Perhaps the Indian population, who had been living off the grid for generations, had inspired us. They lived next to the earth not through design, but were borne to it. A majority turned to the arts they made for their daily living - baskets to hold food, pottery to hold water and to cook in, jewelry to adorn themselves and other representational and nonrepresentational art to beautify their homes. They baked their breads in kivas outside their home.
It is not easy to live without the modern conveniences we all have grown accustomed to having. What with advertising and marketing, we need a dishwasher to liberate ourselves, as well as the finest in homes and clothes, toys and cars. Are we liberated in this electronic age? Or, are we sitting in front of televisions dulling our minds during the week, and turning to malls, movies and other devices to entertain us on the weekends. The big homes we are in debt to we live as much as we can. Do we stay home and read, paint, study a language or have money and time to travel and experience different cultures?
These are some of the reasons I am here: to wean myself of modern addictions, and to prepare to become self-sufficient and enjoy the rest of my life.
Later, Lia
Saturday, September 5, 2009
STORM IS COMING
Rain will be welcome again. The hills are begging for moisture as the wind blows in from the West and the sky goes dark. There is an excitement in the air, as the thunder echoes in dull roars across the landscape. Last night, the coyotes came early. It was still afternoon, and the sun was high. They were making quite a clamor. Interesting. To live close to the earth with the windows open to the rain, the sun, the moon is quite an experience. You believe there could be a God after all, or at least gods...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
